I'm quitting smoking. Why?
Well, the long term effects are obvious. Three out of my four grandparents smoked and all died before I was 12 due to smoking related complications, two of them from lung cancer.
The short term effects are even more of a motivator. I'm a very active person, and I need to be able to breath! Even more importantly, I was blessed with the gift of song and I do not intend to throw that away.
The kind of person that I am doesn't fit in with that of a smoker. I am quite health conscious. I eat well, exercise, and take care of my body.
Why did I become a smoker? At a tattoo parlor, a girl shared a clove with me. I had no idea that it had nicotine in it, but I went out and bought a pack the very next day. After doing my research, I found the tar content was three times that of a regular cigarette and switched to them. I have been smoking on and off for five years, collectively for about three.
I've endured a lot of trauma in my life and have made many bad choices. As it turns out, I'm lucky the only drug addictions I acquired throughout my escapades were marijuana and cigarettes. I quit weed not even two months ago. As soon as I quit that, I became aware of how cigarettes are not conducive to my lifestyle. I wanted to quit right away, but I gave myself 30 dates of sobriety first.
So now here I am, on day 6. I use the patch. The only difficulties I have to conquer are the physical acts of holding something in my mouth or my hand and learning new habits to replace old ones. I have a new resolve that I didn't have before, and am more stable than I've been in years. I'm positive that I will never have another smoke again.
Coincidently, the same day I gave up smoking, I let go of things that have happened to me in my past. I wrote a song about it. Since then, I feel a weight has been lifted and I've evolved into a new person, or, perhaps, the old Jessie I used to be before my trauma occurred. I am currently learning to play the piano as I work on composing music for my lyrics.
I feel free. I have no ridiculous notions of perfection, but I have hope for a better future.
