I can't control those people who have tried to control me, who saw life as a game and myself as a prize to be won and conquered. I can't seek out justice, or vengeance, or try to teach them the truth. I must forgive. It may be the hardest thing for me to do, but ultimately will reward me with peace.
What if I could just let it go? What if I didn't have to hold on to the pain? Am I afraid that I won't be driven to succeed in spite of it? I think, inherently, I know I would be better off: That I would open myself to the world, and in turn, the world would open itself to me.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Spring Break
My body feels so out of whack from partying this weekend! I can't believe Spring Break is over. The only remnants are my lime green St Patty's Day nails! My ex and I have had an on and off again relationship over the past years, but what came out of it was a solid friendship (with a mutual agreement that being single is way better than having a significant other anyway) He is graduating with a degree in the same thing I'm going for but in Orlando. He's had his own band (who may be getting back together) and he's my inspiration. His star attitude is contagious, as anyone who has met him clearly sees. When we were together, he gave me his midi controller and bought me my SM58, which I wouldn't have a studio without. He upgraded to ProTools 10 and gave me 9 AND Reason! He's just a selfless person and he believes in me. Best friend I've ever had.
Next on the list is a Mac, which a colleague of mine has offered to build for me and I finally have the money for him. Then, I save up and buy Logic. Voila! Studio!
Tomorrow begins eight more weeks of classes. Sigh.
I try to keep the big picture in mind: the construction of my own studio, laying my own tracks and hopefully getting a small local fan base, performing at local venues, just doing what I love. Over break I composed my first song (and cried because I was so happy I finally did this) and began to work on another, but got side tracked by both reality and reality tv. I did manage to get a good cleaning of my room in.
I found out before break that I was President Elect of the Music Industry Club-- I never thought I'd be president of anything! It just confirms that I can be someone in this industry, and I feel proud.
Mid terms- yikes! For someone who has high standards for myself, I didn't meet them. Sound Reinforcement is a difficult class, and I believe I got a C there. Rec Tech I think I got a B, and piano an A. Not bad, but not good enough. I plan to budget my time more wisely and ace the finals. I studied so much I burned out, stopped studying, and then had to cram before midterms. But whatever I need to do to prove to myself I am still an A student (after not being in college for years) I will do.
I run concessions tomorrow morning, and I will be bringing my books to study during the inevitable down time. That way when I get home, I can just relax. I can work on my music, and then wind down with a fix of reality tv.
Speaking of which, I'm off. *sips coffee* Later.
Next on the list is a Mac, which a colleague of mine has offered to build for me and I finally have the money for him. Then, I save up and buy Logic. Voila! Studio!
Tomorrow begins eight more weeks of classes. Sigh.
I try to keep the big picture in mind: the construction of my own studio, laying my own tracks and hopefully getting a small local fan base, performing at local venues, just doing what I love. Over break I composed my first song (and cried because I was so happy I finally did this) and began to work on another, but got side tracked by both reality and reality tv. I did manage to get a good cleaning of my room in.
I found out before break that I was President Elect of the Music Industry Club-- I never thought I'd be president of anything! It just confirms that I can be someone in this industry, and I feel proud.
Mid terms- yikes! For someone who has high standards for myself, I didn't meet them. Sound Reinforcement is a difficult class, and I believe I got a C there. Rec Tech I think I got a B, and piano an A. Not bad, but not good enough. I plan to budget my time more wisely and ace the finals. I studied so much I burned out, stopped studying, and then had to cram before midterms. But whatever I need to do to prove to myself I am still an A student (after not being in college for years) I will do.
I run concessions tomorrow morning, and I will be bringing my books to study during the inevitable down time. That way when I get home, I can just relax. I can work on my music, and then wind down with a fix of reality tv.
Speaking of which, I'm off. *sips coffee* Later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)