Quietude

I have nothing of impact to say
Though I should
I have thrown enough moments away
Wish I could
Find the impulse to steal the day
I'm a fool
I'm ready to strike but afraid
I will lose
I don't want to take all these pills
But I do
My feelings become numb and nil
So I choose
Rather than bleed seethe and spill
I refuse
To be anyone if and until
I'm confused
No longer and summon my strength
It will be
An indeterminate length
Once I speak
I will know what I wanted to say
Without reach
Until then in my quietude stay